Today I have some things to say. Why? Because I do. Richard says to write them down because I could use them in a stand up routine one day.
Disclaimer: I love asian people, and I am not racist. I have lots of close friends who are asian, and this by no means is meant to offend. It is meant simply as a comical angry rant.
YOu know what I've noticed? Every guy goes through an asian phase. A temporary fetish. What the hell. What is so great about the asian chics anyway. What is so f***ing great about the color yellow. I just don't see it. Not only is it an asian phase, but its an ugly asian chic phase. I mean, there are defiently pretty asian girls out there, but those aren't the ones taking all the guys. No. The guys seem to like, friggin hunt down the most plain looking, unnattractive asian ones they can. And thats like finding a needle in a friggin haystack right there. Its liek they are walking down the street, pass like ten gorgeous women: a tall skinny movie star blonde, a spicy latina with brown eyes and voluptous curves, an african goddess, and then they see an asian chic who is like three feet tall, no ass, no boobs, kind of looks like your old tai kwan do instructor, with glasses to magnify what little she CAN see with her eyes, and they say, THATS THE ONE. I do not understand. I ask my spanish teacher and he tells me its cuz they are more submissive while us white girls are all assertive feminist bitches. And I say HOW THE F*** DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT!!! I'm sorry but intellectually speaking, there is NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE more intimidating than an asian girl. Think abuot it, thats like an asian guy, without the distraction of testosterone. Its a complete mystery. I have a theory though. I think they think tehy will be getting unlimited sushi. Cuz everyone likes sushi. WHich is so wrong because just cuz you have slanted eyes doesn't mean you own a sushi restaurant. It could be Thai, or Chinese. Very different food. Thats like saying all latino people eat tacos. Thats ridiculous and racist. We do not all eat tacos. Let me tell you. Some of us eat pupusas. (only my latino friends will get a laugh out of that one).
This brings me to the next thing that pisses me off. Racism against and among latino people. Its just like asian racism. Just cuz you're hispanic doesn't mean you are gonna have brown skin and born eyes and black hair, and it CERTAINLY does not mean you are MEXICAN. Go ahead and call a random latino on the street a MEXICAN. FUCK NO, that is a gamble right there. If that person happens to be from El salvador, You are dead. MS-13 right there. If that preson is from Columbia, they will call their friend from the drug cartels and you're dead. If that person happens to be from Peru or Ecuador, they will play one of those little panpipes at you until you die. Thats the worst one. Talk about cruel and unusual punishment right there. Hijole! Praise America for the 8th amendment. If that person happens to be from Mexico, well then you're fine. chances are they will be a Mexican though so you're not in danger cuz most of them are. But not all. Some are from Costa Rica or Nicaragua. Whatever you do though, don't call a Mexican anything but a Mexican. Its dangerous they could throw beans or a cactus at you.
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1 comment:
hey, asian guys are allowed to date asian girls.. there's nothing wrong with staying within your own culture.
and also, calling all hispanics mexican is just like calling all asians chinese or japanese. Not saying it's right, that's just the way it usually is.
By the way, a friend of mine once told me that guys (asian guys excluded of course) who have yellow fever tend to be still-in-the-closet gay. Why? Because they don't enjoy the thrill of the hunt and want a asian girl because, as you said, they are submissive and it's an easy way to not look gay infront of the friends. If they makes you feel any better.
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