I saw it coming a million miles away.

Jill found Bob attractive. Susy said to go for Bob's buddy, Bill. Jill found Bill attractive, too, but Bob showed more interest. Then after careful observation she found that Susy probably still had feelings for Bob. They had EVERYTHING in common, and were like, made for eachother. And it now appears Bob and Susy are speaking again. Jill definetly saw that one coming.

Honestly, I need to stop this bouncing from crush to crush thing. Its stupid and it makes it so nothing means anything anymore. All it all is, is word vomit. "You're beautiful" is word vomit language for "I'd like to get in your pants so I'm saying this so you keep talking to me long enough that that is a possibility." F'ing word-spew. Ewww. Its about as gross as real vomit too when you think about it. I understand the fundamental need of humans to communicate with one another, but romance is ridiculous.

I feel like it all goes back to something Mr. Goethals once asked the class, "Is social bonding just an illusion we create?" My answer is yes. Why? Because words are words. They can represent true feelings, but feelings are fickle and can change in a heartbeat. Therefore the words exchanged with others during times of social bonding are quite meaningless.

Maybe I'm just really sad because of the graduating seniors this year. They are all leaving me to go hundreds of miles away, and I will rarely ever see them again, yet we shared so many wonderful memories. Things like Yule Ball and the date auction, the hours spent after xc practice talking to Maeve in the locker room, all the xc practices themselves and the meets...

I guess I feel a little bit of resentment towards them all. I wanted to go the SOCES speech showcase today instead of Track Banquet, but then Maeve reminded me that even though I never raced this season, I was a part of the team and the banquet was where I belonged, and that I shouldn't leave my long time friends to hang out with people I hardly know. She had a point. I just guess that a part of me wants to move on quickly and painlessly. But thats a little harsh.

Oh gosh it makes me cry. I'm gonna miss them!